The way I treated this crab you would have thought it sexually assaulted my sister. Its' long, slender, prehistoric legs were delivered to me on a plate in a beautiful pile, which I proceeded to disrespect in unprecedented fashion; splintering its' exoskeleton with my Hostel-esque shell cracker, tearing out its' insides with reckless abandon, and drowning its' rich, succulent flesh in drawn butter.
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