Post-Op Steak Dream

I return to you from the wretched confines of the Operating Room - my pelvis freshly incised and romantically packed with large rectangles of mesh to repair the unfortunate ruptures that transpired upon my abdominal wall. Bi-lateral hernia surgery! Gross! I tried to write a bit sooner after the operation, but I was under the influence of a notable amount of percocet, and what I thought was me sitting at my desktop diligently typing on my keyboard actually turned out to be me lying face-down on the floor with my eyes closed, tapping my fingers on the carpet.

The surgeon gave me photographs of my insides - pre and post op. "Put them on your food blog!", some of my sicker, more deranged friends suggested. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Have you no tact? Actually in all honesty it was quite difficult for me to resist doing just that. But I managed, and instead I present you with photos of what I ate upon going out to dinner after the sensations of stabbing and fire in my stomach subsided.

When scallops are good, they are so fucking good. Especially when they're in a swimming pool of corn, scallions, watercress and celery puree.

A T-bone steak. Covered in fried onions. The next surgery will be upon my heart.